Of Childhood Illnesses

We live in an over-medicated society where people are getting more ill, instead of better. Each day when I open my Facebook newsfeed, and I read posts by mothers moaning about their children’s coughs, colds, fever, congested chests. Again. And often, accompanying these posts are photos of sorry-looking children (passive, cowed and victimised) and the medication that they have been prescribed with. Being ill has become a state of play, for both the unthinking parents’ monkey brains and the pharmaceutical industry. A whole generation of children is accepting that illness is normal, and the solution is taking sick leave and swallowing drugs. Hello, this is all part of growing up.

Do you know that doctors and hospitals make money from selling medicines, dear parents?

Analgesics are popped into the mouth like sweets these days. There is medication for fever, coughs, colds, congested chest, you name it, and you can be sure that a pharmaceutical company somewhere has thought about it (and exploited modern society’s desire for instant effortless cure). The majority of medicines found in the home are useless. Harmful even, in the long run, because apart from breeding resistant bugs, we rob our bodies of the vital opportunities to learn how to overcome infections. Indeed, we are de-skilling our body’s defence system by mollycoddling it with false friends.

The fact that your body is sick means that there is something not quite right about it at the moment. And it is for a reason. It is out of balance with its environment, resulting in the outbreak. For example, if your child is often ill with fever or other little ailments, it means that he/she is not able to fight common infections. So instead of medicating your child, may I suggest that you do an audit, which is to say find out if your child nutritional intake is sufficient to balance the needs of his growing body? Is he having enough rest? Is he drinking enough fluids? Is there an underlying serious issue that’s causing the recurrent outbreak? It could be emotional, as more and more children in our pressurised society is suffering from stress early, and illness is one of the ways the child manifest the stress or unhappiness that he is feeling. Medication for fever is not going to solve the real problem for the long term.

In fact, research has shown that parents over-reacting over little ailments by over-medicating their children can cause a rise in immune-related diseases, some serious.  Antibiotics, analgesics and hand sanitisers are most emphatically not meant to me part of our normal lives.

If your child’s daycare centre has frequent outbreaks of the highly infectious hand-foot-and-mouth disease, arming yourself and your child with crazy quantities of anti-microbial hand sanitisers is not going to help. Some hand sanitisers are carcinogenic. Far better to insist that the daycare centre establish a clear protocols to prevent future outbreaks, because you are then dealing with the problem, rather than loading your child’s body with more toxins. The general practitioner, Dr. Rosemary Leonard wrote that we are breeding a ‘dangerously clean generation’, and she sees a rise in immune-related disorders, such as eczema, asthma, hayfever and food allergies.

Of course, I am not advocating that you just leave a sick child be. We, the parents, have to manage the illness with wisdom and with these four facts:

(1) Keep a fevered child’s temperature down by regular sponging him and wearing loose cotton clothes. Let him rest in a room with cool ventilation.

(2) Ensure that your child is hydrated.

(3) If the illness persists for more than three-four days, take your child to a reputable emergency unit/trusted doctor, and seek explanations. You may have to insist on tests.

(4) Look out for other symptoms, such as blotches (which could be indicative of meningitis) and rash.

(5) If your child’s condition worsened, then it is straight to the emergency unit as soon as possible.

For our children’s sake, we must begin taking responsibility and stop subcontracting their health to outside parties, who often do not have your children’s best interest at heart. Wake up to the reality that popping pill does not help. It may even kill. We may seek to cure or prevent all illnesses with disinfectants, antibiotics and cleanliness, but Nature has found a way to get her own back. There are more sick children today than there ever was. Don’t raise a victim.

Stay tuned on my piece on Energy Medicine.

Motivating a teenager

Parents often ask me, “How do you get your children to be motivated?” The simple answer is, a happy child wants to do well. There is no need to bribe, persuade or cajole – a happy child wants to keep the status quo of her environment.

I also truly believe that every child started off in life as a happy being. That is the natural state. So full of curiosity, optimism and wonder. It is what we do that shut them down, and we bog them down with our expectations. Sure, children need rules and boundaries, but not parental ambition.

And as someone wise once told me, “The best job for the next generation hasn’t been invented yet.”

I have lived through that. When I was growing up, those who can do medicine, law, dentistry, accountancy, science. Nobody heard of IT. Nobody heard of hedge funds. Yet these two areas provide a world of opportunities for my peers undreamed of by the previous generation.

So we are relaxed about exam grades. However, to our surprise, G loves school. Today, she is marching off into her school happily, looking forward to a good hearty lunch and lessons which she fares well in.

Well, she must really love school, because she turned down our invitation to sit on the beach with us. “I’ll do that on the weekends,” she said. “Not on school days.”

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A magical human bean

A pregnant first time mum-to-be asked me, “What is so special about pregnancy and childbirth?”

My dear, it is pure magic.

This is G, the human bean I made with her father. She does not have his signature blue eyes, but my God, she does have his smile alright. Almost thirty years since I first saw that smile, I am seeing doubles. And she has his devilment and his eternal sunshine in her DNA.

Therein lies the magic: I picked the best part of him, and made it into a human bean that is me and him ❤

I can’t wait to make more human-beans.

Healing Foods

As a doctor, I am a firm believer in supporting the body to heal itself rather than a reliance on antibiotics and medicines. It has taken me a long while to arrive to this way of thinking: at the beginning, I was besotted with the miracle drugs that can ‘cure’ illnesses like magic, not being wise enough then to realise that an absence of symptoms does not equate to cure. But after half a lifetime’s journey, both as a doctor and a mother, I am now a strong believer in the philosophy that healing foods, a supportive lifestyle and love can cure most of the ills we encounter in today’s topsy-turvy world. Here are some of the core recipes:

 

MY GREEN SMOOTHIES
IMG_0044
There are three parts to my green smoothies:
1. Base
Made from fruits such as bananas, avocados, dragon fruits, papaya, honey dew melons, mangoes.

2. The green layer
Organic greens. Anything will do, the dark leafy ones are more nutritious, but mix with lighter ones for a milder taste. But whatever, make sure this layer is purely organic.

3. The topping
Chia seeds, flax seeds, goji berries.

Add some water and blitz. Remember to keep blitzing until you get an almost homogenous drink.

 

MY GLUTEN-FREE BREAKFAST CEREAL
Oh, it is so difficult (and expensive) to find gluten-free cereals! Here’s my creation:
cereals

(1) Boil some quinoa according to packet instructions. You can do this the night before (quinoa keeps in the fridge for a couple of days).

(2) Break a slice of corn-thins and add to the quinoa.

(3) Top with fruits, nuts, goji berries and chia seeds as shown.

(4) Serve with cold milk.

(NOTE TO THOMAS: Corn thins on the breakfast bar)

 

BONE BROTH
broth

Boil the following over low heat for several hours:
1. Organic, hormone-free and antibiotic-free chicken or beef bones
2. 2 tablespoons of vinegar
3. Carrots
4. Broccoli
5. Potatoes
6. Bay leaves

For a more filling meal, boil some small pasta (e.g. macaroni) separately and add to the broth just before serving.

Do not discard the leftovers (bones and veggies) – reboil it to make a weak soup and use it for the following:

 

BROWN RICE-MILLET BROTH
rice millet

1. Add washed rice and millet into the soup and cook until tender.
2. Just before serving, break an egg into the pot and cook until the egg white is solidified and the yolk still soft (use safe eggs)
3. To serve, add garnishes: coriander leaves, spring onions, salt and pepper (the leftover bits of carrots and veggies make it all the yummier).

(NOTE TO THOMAS: No brown rice or millet at home, just use ordinary rice this week)

 

QUINOA & GREENS SALAD
quinoa

1. Cook the quinoa according to packet instructions.
2. Prepare the base with mixed green salad leaves.
3. Add the heavier elements, such as avocados or roasted beetroot.
4. Spoon the quinoa onto the nest.
5. Top with nuts and seeds.
6. For dressing, drizzle olive oil and balsamic vinegar.

 

GRILLED FISH AND GREENS
IMG_0050

1. Marinate the fish with salt and pepper. Make incisions in the flesh and put ginger slices in the incisions. Leave for a while.
2. Drizzle with olive oil.
3. Grill on a low setting until the fish is cooked (NOTE: Thomas, the grill is the fire on top)
4. In the meantime, heat up some olive oil in the pan. Add in garlic slices, stir until brown, and then add in greens. Season lightly with salt.
5. Serve with rice.

 

 

More on the medical basis of the diet I propose by the University of Massachusetts Medical School: http://www.umassmed.edu/news/news-archives/2014/04/UMMS-first-to-develop-evidence-based-diet-for-inflammatory-bowel-disease/

Emotional Health, Not Academic Obsession

When I wrote my book, Barefoot in the City, I put down the heart of my ethos and philosophy for raising children. With the exception of my eldest child, my four children were schooled in the British system, both at home in the UK and at international schools in Asia. For me, with the benefit of hindsight, the greatest thing about the British education system is that it allows me the flexibility to affect my child’s learning. Its creative syllabus and passionate teachers also play a large role in inspiring my children to be internally motivated, intellectually curious and great orators.

However, though I am appreciative of the British education system and what it has done for my children, in truth, I am a passionate advocate of the Waldorf education philosophy. Simply because I believe in the Dalai Lama’s saying that ‘the planet does not need more successful people’.

“The planet does not need more ‘successful people’. The planet desperately needs more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers and lovers of all kinds. It needs people to live well in their places. It needs people with moral courage willing to join the struggle to make the world habitable and humane and these qualities have little to do with success as our culture is the set.” -Dalai Lama

There are some really lovely parents in Asia, not only the fabled Tiger Mums. Haslinda Halim from Malaysia is one, and she gives me hope.

Yesterday, Haslinda simplified our shared philosophy in a nutshell:

1. 0-7yo focus on hands and good things
2. 7-14yo focus on heart and beautiful things
3. 14-21yo focus on the head and the truth

 

1. 0-7yo focus on hands and good things

It’s no secret: my children are late readers. I could never understand the mad rush to get children reading way before they are ready to. My belief is that the focus during the early years should be spent entirely on teaching children about their relationship to the world they live in. This relationship can only be learned by doing and exploring and discovering, not from books or by instructions. The 24 hours in a day is barely enough, given that the world is such a big, magical place.

Young children need to learn that they have eyes, ears, nose and skin that enable them to interact with their world, cultivating an early system of emotional intelligence. Young children need to learn to use their hands too, because it teaches them empowerment. Our little people all could cook, garden, knit, build things. By doing all these, a child feels rooted and develops a clear sense of self, which will help him relate to his world and others around him.

If you feed a child with good things, she will radiate good things. Georgina refuses to read as a child. Rather than getting angry with her and forcing her to read, her father patiently spent years reading to her every night. He read pony stories, he read fairy stories and he read teenage stories. It became their special time at the end of each day, something to look forward to, cuddling up together with a book, these bedtime stories were magical.

English remains her weakest subject because she does not have an affinity for the written word. But she brings such a breadth and depth of insight to the language. For example, she asked us to correlate between the words parent, participant and participle.

The other beneficial thing to emerge from the ‘hands and good things’ phase is that all my children are very confident physically. They have spent much of their childhood naked outdoors, climbing in the Alps, in sunny meadows somewhere, scrambling over rock pools, jumping on cowpats and playing a million outdoor games. I simply love Georgina’s physicality, the way she charges at the world with her arms outstretched, eager to meet the new challenges each day, secure in the knowledge that she is empowered, in control and happy with her place in the world. That’s what her first seven years of life had given her.
2. 7-14yo focus on heart and beautiful things

I take ‘giftedness’ in children with a large pinch of salt, because my fundamental belief is that all children are gifted. And gifted or not gifted, children still have to develop the same skillset to function happily in this world, to be contributing adults that the Dalai Lama and our inner wisdom speak of.

Two of my five children are mathematically gifted, but they are schooled alongside ‘lesser children’ (I say that with tongue-in-cheek). I nurture their gift, but I choose to nurture the hearts more, because a good heart is the platform for the gift to sit on and serve. It is easy to cosset Georgina and buy into the belief that I have a young Einstein, but instead, she learned mathematics from another enthusiastic mathematician Gary Macaulay, her father’s buddy, in pubs, making tetrahexaflaxagon models out of beer mats and loose sheets of paper (try it). No, she does not get special treatment because she can ‘see’ maths.

Georgina does not need our help when it comes to schoolwork, but we subversively entwined ourselves in history, English, maths, business studies, science and the other subjects that she studies. The reason is not to help her achieve better grades – because she is already top of the class for many subjects – but to weave heart and values into those subjects. After all, we must never lose sight of the fact that the real value of learning those subjects is simply as a guide to help us understand ourselves and our world more, and to learn how we can make the world a better place. So onwards with the First World War, company valuation models, chambers of the heart and tetrahexaflaxagons. They are beautiful, if they are learned with beauty in the heart rather than blinkered goal of getting 100%.
3. 14-21yo focus on the head and the truth

Entering this phase, Georgina is beginning to ask us difficult questions, which some parents would consider ‘rude’. (That is the beloved trick of Asian parents, to chide a child for being rude to get out of answering difficult questions or facing uncomfortable subjects). But the fact is, Georgina just wants to delve into ‘the truth’, and at 14, her tentacles are fully extended to gather information to aid her cognition of ‘the truth’ and find her own version of it.

But as we know, truth is subjective.

For example, I believe that primary healthcare should never be in private hands. I also believe that the UK has a weak government at the moment. I believe in many things, which are not necessarily right. I would never influence a child to vote for the same political party as me. Thus it takes a whole village to raise a child, to give her a balanced view of the world to enable her to find her own place in it. We are grateful for the villagers who help us to raise our child. In this month alone, during our long car drive to school, we discussed the possibility that vegetarianism could be unkind to some animals (loss of habitat, etc), the existence of other intelligence in the Universe, creative accounting practices and UK job conditions.

Without exception, my children are all great at provoking, challenging and defending viewpoints on a wide breadth of subjects, and have never been hesitant in voicing their opinions or engaging people in debate from our road-less-travelled parenting ethos.

I have raised an investment banker, a Naval officer, an interior designer and a property developer. The biggest triumph for their father and I, however, is not that we have raised successful professionals; rather, we are imbued with deep joy at the loveliness of our children in the way they care for their grandparents, the manner in which they love each other, their inherent happiness and their commitment to the values that we have brought them up with. I am glad there is now an academic study by London School of Economics’ Centre for Economic Performance to give credence to my deep personal beliefs that a child’s emotional health is far more important to their satisfaction levels as an adult than other factors. You can read more on Professor Lord Richard Layard’s work here: http://cep.lse.ac.uk/_new/research/wellbeing/

High Energy Blueberry Cornmeal Muffin

Everybody loves muffins and it is easy to eat.  But knowing my daughter, she will ask, “What’s the point of eating it? Isn’t it just empty calories?”

So on this rainy Phuket afternoon, I decided to experiment and come up with my version of turbo-charged cornmeal muffins that taste like a treat still, rather than bland health food.

The first thing I did was reduced the flour content, because white flour is just a filler. I used 75% Organic Blue Corn Meal from Arrowhead Mills.  Corn meal is made by grinding corn kernels into a coarse powder. Though it is still mainly carbohydrates, the carbs in corn meal is rich in dietary fibres, good for healthy digestion and also keeps a ravenous teenager full 🙂

Corn meal is rich in iron and phosphorus.  We might know a lot about the importance of iron in our diet, but phosphorus is less well-known. It helps make up your DNA, forms a component of your cell membranes and also contributes to bone mineral tissue. Your cells also use phosphorus to help activate or inactivate enzymes, so getting enough phosphorus also supports healthy enzyme function.

Here’s the recipe:

Ingredients:

70g unbleached organic white flour

180g corn meal

75g granulated white sugar

50g sesame and flax seed mix

30g chia seeds

3 tablespoons sunflower seeds

3 teaspoons baking powder

1/4 teaspoon salt

Zest (outer yellow skin) of one lemon (optional)

240 ml fresh or frozen blueberries (if using frozen, do not defrost)

1 large egg (see safe eggs)

240 ml milk

60 ml UDO oil

Method:

Preheat oven to 200 degrees ).  Line the muffin cups with paper liners.

In a large bowl combine the dry ingredients and lemon zest. Gently stir in the berries.

In another bowl whisk together the egg, milk, and oil.

With a rubber spatula fold the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients and stir only until the ingredients are combined. Do not over mix the batter or tough muffins will result.

Evenly fill the muffin cups with batter, using two spoons or an ice cream scoop. Sprinkle with sunflower seeds. Bake until lightly browned and a toothpick inserted in the center of a muffin comes out clean, about 15 – 20 minutes.

Enjoy!

muffins

Dare To Be

When I was at school, the prom queens and the UK-cheerleader equivalents made my life a misery. They didn’t like me based on the fact that firstly, I did not care to follow their style dictates, and secondly, I did not beg to join their silly little clubs. And girls can be mean, much meaner than boys. I would have preferred a straightforward punch-up in the playground than years of subversive torture that I was subjected to by the fairer sex. Little things of mine went missing: calculator, homework book, gym clothes. Nobody would partner me for science experiments. I was told the wrong things to do for homework. I was called names, unpleasant ones, just because I dared to be myself rather than follow the herd or fade into the background.

I hated school because of girl politics. To make my life better, I could capitulate and beg to join the herd, or I could keep my head down.  Or I could be strong and stick two fingers up at them and do as I wish. I chose the third way, simply on the basis that I would rather be a social outcast than a fashion victim or a wallflower.

Of course, no boy invited me to the prom. No corsage arrived. No hired limo. No wedding-cake dress. No highly strung anticipation or squealing excitement. But did I care?

No.

Reason: I was already dating an older boy, a scion of one of the most influential families in England and having a great time. On the night of the prom, Jamie and I were in the oh-so-romantic Angel’s Garden, lying on a horse blanket, looking at stars, drinking champagne from the bottle. It was waaaay cooler than hanging out with a gaggle of hysterical girls or worse, being fumbled by a pimply date at the prom.

Over the years, I stuck to my own dress code. When my mother asked me (nicely) to dress up in something decent, I put the family tiara on. With jeans and sneakers. But at my first year at Oxford, I capitulated and shoehorned myself into my aunt’s old ballgown for the May Ball. My feet were too big for her dainty shoes unfortunately, but I wasn’t going to buy shoes that I will never wear again. Thus, I went to the ball in the appropriate dress but in wellington boots that I wore to rake out the stables. I had a great time dancing the night away, because my feet weren’t hurting in ridiculous shoes.

My younger daughter is 14. Her wealthier friends wear branded goods. Her less wealthy friends pore over magazines and made do with cheap Far East imports from value retailers. Do you know, you are polluting the planet and encouraging child labour each time you buy an item of these unethically produced cheap clothes?

She shrugged. Like me, she is not into fashion. Or girl politics. Plus, she has no money. That is a blessing, because she has so much fun with boys. And so, this mother-and-daughter partnership has developed our own style concept. It’s called HOBOism. There is no shop or internet store to wear HOBO. The label is your name. The only rule is “enjoy wearing yourself”. (The name HOBO is a take on the great British fashion brand HOBBS).

I ran a competition for HOBOs. Hajar Nadhirah Onn from Malaysia takes the biscuit (or crown). Hajar wears the head covering of her religion with pride, but it has never stopped her expressing her individuality and joie de vivre. She is seen here wearing supercool headphones and a quirky batman mask. When I first knew about her HOBOism, she had a Goth make-up on (read: overdone, smudged kohl), walking around a small town in Malaysia, giving people heart attacks. Way to go, Girl! It delights this old aunty’s heart no end to see this.

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And with the hindsight of experience, I would like to exhort all girls out there to have fun with fashion, rather than let fashion wear you. Wear a tiara/batman mask if you want, dammit, you are worth it.

 

Energy Food: Transformation of the Classic Pancake

My 14 year old daughter is a competitive athlete, and one of the best things about sports is it makes young people aware of the value of nutrition and taking care of their bodies instead of opting for heroin-chic beloved of the fashion industry and unthinking women, or eating junk food.

Georgina has a small frame that is packed solid with muscles. With her high metabolic rate, she burns a lot of calories. Thus, we have to be careful that she meets her nutritional requirements plus more. I don’t want her to go down the path of supplements and vitamins, because a happy and balanced view of food and a healthy approach to eating is a lifelong state of mind. I don’t want my daughter to grow up dependent on pills and chemicals.

Thus, we have one simple principle in our kitchen: we ask ourselves, “Is it nutritionally empty?”

Pancakes, for example. It is mainly flour, egg and some milk. Flour is a filler, nothing else. Is it worth eating it, apart from the pleasure of the taste? Do you want to fill your stomach up with white flour?

But we love pancakes!!!

Here’s our super-version of the classic pancake, it’s full of goodness:

Ingredients for the batter:

120g unbleached white flour

2 heaped tablespoons maca

1 tablespoon caster sugar

1 teaspoon baking powder

½ teaspoon salt

140ml milk

1 large egg (please read about safe eggs here)

2 tablespoons of melted butter

More butter for frying

 

The garnishing:

1 banana, sliced

Udo oil

Wild honey

Nuts and seeds

Bee pollen

Method:

Sift the dry ingredients into a large bowl. In a separate bowl or jug, lightly whisk together the milk and egg, then whisk in the melted butter.

Pour the milk mixture into the flour mixture and, using a fork, beat until you have a smooth batter. Any lumps will soon disappear with a little mixing. Let the batter stand for a few minutes.

Heat a non-stick frying pan over a medium heat and add a knob of butter. Cook the batter until light gold in colour.

With the remaining butter, caramelise the banana slices. Pour over the pancake, drizzle Udo oil and honey on it and sprinkle with bee pollen, nuts and seeds.

 

She had green smoothie and the super pancakes, and off she went for an activity-filled day with a big smile on her face and bags of energy. It’s a super energy-charged breakfast, that’s for sure!

 

 

 

 

My Daughter, My Role Model

Georgina has my body shape: the skinny ‘slim’ look so beloved of Asians and women the world over too, I guess.

But she never had any intention of pandering to the majority’s perception of beauty – this girl has worked hard (not only through exercise but through optimum nutrition) to have a strong powerful body that wins her trophies and gold medals.

She has bigger thighs and bigger waist than me, and she laughs about it. Her shoulders are wide, which makes her a strong swimmer though she does not compete in swimming.

She is larger than a lot of girls, but she doesn’t care. Because she knows she is solid muscles, and she is proud of them, even if she is perceived as ‘big’. She revels in the fact that she is very seldom sick – in the last ten years, sore throat is her only ailment – and that she has bags of energy to have fun. I don’t stress about her wearing tight clothes, because she is not a feeble little thing pandering to ideals of beauty, but merely showcasing her muscles. Her role model: Jessica Ennis, the British Olympian, and she is on her way there.

Her physical strength gives her mental strength and a different approach to life …. to my surprise, she listens to Martin Luther King’s speeches on her iPod!

Way to go, Warrior Woman!

No to Anorexia

Anorexia Kills