Harvest From The Roadside

On September 13, 2014September 13, 2014 By bumblebee3londonIn Awesome Recipes, Everything!!!2 Comments

Driving along the rural roads of Phuket, we chanced upon a tiny stall in front of a small house selling chopping boards made from tree trunks, pumpkins, limes and a handful of local greens. I do not have the vocabulary to ask, “Is it organic?”. But within 10 yards from the stall, an elderly man was tending the smallholding. I assumed it was as organic as we are going to get. The pumpkin cost us all of U$1.50. Pumpkins are incredibly rich in vital antioxidants, and vitamins (especially vitamin A). I have a rapidly growing teenager, and she needs her vitamin A, which is instrumental for cell growth as well as immune system maintenance (and of course, good eyesight). Because pumpkins are root vegetables, they are fillers, but unlike other fillers (white rice, white bread), pumpkins fill you with goodness, too. I made pumpkin soup with the pumpkin I bought today. Here’s my recipe: Olive oil 4 cloves garlic, chopped About as much pumpkin as you see in the photo, cubed 1/2 an avocado a handful of cashews salt and pepper Distilled water Method: Saute the chopped garlic in olive oil until soft. Add the pumpkin and 1/2 cup of distilled water. Simmer until soft. Pour into a powerful blender. Add avocado (for creaminess) and cashews (for the nutty taste). Blend until smooth. You may wish to add more water to the desired consistency. Season to taste. I served my pumpkin soup always with the following garnishing: Chilli jam Fresh lime Sunflower seeds And of course, good warm bread with lashings of butter. Footnote: I had a spare pumpkin at home (I am in the habit of collecting roadside pumpkins) which I will make into baked pumpkin crisps. I have also roasted some for a quiche and probably an antipasti. By the end of the weekend, G will be squealing, “Please, no more pumpkin!” But it’s all good. Either eat pumpkin or liver, dear girl. Your choice. This was the roasted pumpkin platter. The only luxury was the landana cheese with white truffle.

Slow down, my child, and enjoy today

On September 12, 2014September 12, 2014 By bumblebee3londonIn Everything!!!, Love, light, blessings10 Comments

Dear G, you never listen to us, because you think you have incompetent, irresponsible, bungling beach bums for parents. Crazy people who preach alternative philosophies and live life as if everyday is their last. You are probably right, but hear us out before you rush off to do the ten thousand and one things in your busy life.

Life is not a race but a journey. Don’t be in a rush to get on the superhighway. Because you will lose out on lots of beautiful things that you will never be able to find again, however long and hard you search for them in the future. Things of real value, things of today, that will never come your way in this lifetime again.

Your father had voluntarily left his well-paid job to live on an island in a country he has never lived in before, simply to give you magical and memorable final years of your childhood, and to give you the best opportunities possible of achieving your dream to be England’s football captain. Dreams should be achieved, but never at the expense of the things that really matter in life.

We never saw giving up our careers as a sacrifice for you. In fact, it is a privilege. You are only lent to us for a very short while. 18 years, to be exact. Or maybe only 16. We intend to use those precious years to give you a long, happy and idyllic childhood so that you have a strong base to build your future successes on. There is no substituting these strong foundations. They are what that make you strong on the inside. Believe me, I know all about it. I still run home to Portsmouth, to my parents’ home, when the going gets tough. I still call on my brothers. And most of all, I only have to close my eyes to see my young happy self again, walking on the beaches of Southern England, going on the slow train to school with my brother or sitting in my mother’s sunny kitchen. I know I am safe, so long as I have a mind to remember those beautiful memories of that part of my life, a time of innocence, carefreeness and untrammelled faith. Days before the harshness of the adult world took away my kaleidoscope eyes. Days that will never come this way again. It’s not an age thing, but cynicism, a certain weariness, a hardened shell, that prevent those layers ever to be accessed again.

Several years ago, walking with my father on the deserted Southsea seafront on Christmas night through the closed up fairground, I thought wistfully, “I wish I had not grown up so quickly.” Because my father, with his head full of white hair, arthritic knees, high prostate count and two major heart attacks, will not be here forever. Just as yours won’t be, G.

Have you noticed why he is so whole-heartedly embracing all the time he has with you, the way he jumps in at the first opportunity, a stalker almost? Because he knows. Because he knows that our time with you is finite.

Like your brothers and sister, you all are the most precious gifts that God and Life gave us. We often talk in awe (still!) about how and why we had been chosen to parent these beautiful beings. After all, we were just two ordinary people who went to the pub one evening, sat on the beach, and accidentally made a baby. We didn’t have a clue how to be a parent, how to be responsible parents, how to be ‘good’ parents. All we know – and we know that deeply – is that we must give you all a good happy home and a magical childhood, so that you always know that you are safe, and that life is good on the whole, no matter how dark the present is.

So G, this is what we are giving you. Pieces of ourselves. So that however long you may live, you carry our love with you always, and the deep knowing that there is a happy place in the world for you. You have been to that happy place: it’s called your childhood. This type of transmission cannot be hurried, it is in the life we give you everyday. And so, your father and I would like to say this to you: successes in the outside world can wait, there is a time and place for everything. But something infinitely more important is happening at home right now, in the moments we walk by the sea, in the picnics on the beach, in the evenings we sit at home quietly reading, in our long drives in the car, in the conversations and in the everyday life with your parents who are dedicating their every waking hour to making the last years of your childhood magical. Don’t rush life, slow down, and enjoy today.

A positive parenting/teaching style

On September 12, 2014September 12, 2014 By bumblebee3londonIn Everything!!!, Whimsy1 Comment

A few days ago, I posted about G’s father trying to help her with her homework, and although her father has a degree in Mechanical Engineering, had worked as a research engineer at the National Maritime Institute, and had taught A level Electronics in some of the best schools in England, she wasn’t just going to accept his word unquestioningly.

“I disagree with why you have to convert everything out of Newtons, Dad,” she said sullenly. “Seems a dumb way of doing things.”

My post brought in several messages from Asian mothers along the lines of “Aiyoh, you allowed her to challenge her father?” and “Your daughter must learn some humility.”

I agree, in part. Being a secret Tiger Mum myself, I could not have taught this child. And I am glad she has a father who has the patience of a saint, and a school that supports her learning style.

Today, I sat through a presentation by the Head of her school, the British International School, Phuket. Mr. Neil Richards spoke passionately about his vision. A couple of the things that resonated deeply with me were the following words of his:

“I am committed to giving your children as many opportunities as possible to express themselves” and “Taking them beyond examinations.”

Yes!

Too often, schools and education systems (and by extension, teachers) are focused solely on getting their students to pass exams through memorising and rote-learning, thereby robbing the next generation of the opportunity to use their brains productively and richly. Learning to score top marks in exams without understanding the rationale behind the subject constitutes a narrow band of learning how to solve specific problems only, which given enough time, even apes can do. You don’t grow your brain by drilling for hours on past exam papers or memorising things that make no sense to you, just because some long-dead Professors said so.

“Teenagers are messy, they are control freaks. It is part of their DNA to want to take control back from the parents. We allow them to do so, but not too much too soon.” Wise words, Mr Richards, and the questioning, challenging and debating are all part of the process of making sense of the world around them, which they will be custodians of. We want to raise thinking leaders, not meek sheep.

My Richards spoke of his belief that Success = Attitude + Teacher + Ability. And surprisingly, Ability is only 20%, according to his 20 years’ experience as an educator. He believes strongly that all learning is emotional. How a child feels inside relates to how he will learn for the rest of the day. A child who is comfortable and happy in school will learn better throughout the day. And perhaps even influence his life’s choices. Mr Richards himself was influenced by Mrs Griffiths, the history teacher who taught him when he was eight, and the positive influence she has on his life. And all Mrs Griffiths did was made the eight year old Neil Richards feel confident in himself academically.

The British International School in Phuket has succeeded in implementing its Head’s vision of creating a happy, comfortable place. The environment is indeed collegiate, non-threatening, sunny and relaxed. G, in her second week at the school, was not too intimidated by her new environment, and dared to put her hand up in class to correct her teacher. I give full kudos to that particular teacher, who was gracious enough to check the answer on the Internet, and concede that G was indeed correct.

G feels good in the school and I am confident that she will achieve great things, though she comes home and says that her teachers goof around in class. Today, I will tell her what her Head said, that this is all part of the grand plan.

Footnote: I am working on an article about teaching children how to think. Follow this blog and read it, if you believe in raising thinking leaders, not meek sheep. And get ready for the questioning, the challenging, the debate. 🙂

Three Super-Fast, Super-Nutritious Food (in less than 10 minutes)

On September 11, 2014 By bumblebee3londonIn Everything!!!4 Comments

Contrary to popular belief, I do not spend that much time in the kitchen. What I do is I have sessions where I put my favourite music on loud and spend a couple of hours every few days stocking up my kitchen with the lovely basics that I can easily use to whip up super-fast, super-nutritious food on my lazy days (more time for the beach).

From my post a couple of days ago, Offerings From My Kitchen Today, I made the following ‘instant’ meals:

Instant noodles without the additives and preservatives

Apart from being nutritionally bankrupt, the much-loved instant noodles are actually very bad for you. Aside from its high sodium content, a typical packet is also full of acid regulators, flavour enhancers, thickeners, humectants, colours, stabilizers, anti-oxidants, emulsifiers, flour treatment agents, preservatives and anti-caking agents. Sure, they are convenient and tasty (addictive because of the flavourings), but do you really want to put all these chemicals into your body?

The soup of this version is made from the rich vegetable broth. If you are a non-vegetarian, bone broth would be an excellent base too. I made the broth a couple of days ago and stored it in the refrigerator until this afternoon.

To put this instant noodle dish together, I simply boiled spaghetti according to packet instruction. I used spaghetti instead of instant noodles, because instant noodles are coated with wax to prevent the noodles from sticking together. This can be seen when hot water is added to the noodles. After some time the wax can be seen floating in the water. It is just not worth it.

To serve, garnish the cooked spaghetti with tomatoes, lightly blanched veggies and sprouts (I used sprouted sunflower seeds and alfafa), and ladle the broth over. Shredded cooked chicken or slices of beef if you prefer not to go 100% vegetarian are good additions. Drizzle with sesame oil and Braggs for a more Asian taste. You get a lot of goodness from the broth, the veggies and the sprouted seeds, and it is as quick to prepare and tastes even better the unhealthy version.

Rainbow curry

From my tray of rainbow veggies, I made a Thai yellow curry using (OK, I cheated) curry paste. If you are buying curry paste, check the label and opt for the ones with the least evils. I bought mine from the market.

I served the curry with wild rice and topped it with chia seeds, flax seeds and toasted cashews. Wild rice is nutritionally superior to processed and polished white rice. It has up to 30 times more antioxidants than white rice, has a high fibre content and is a good source of vitamins and minerals. Topped with nuts and seeds, it is power-packed food!

Pasta with sun-dried tomatoes and roasted vegetables

I made the tomatoes in my dehydrator a couple of days ago. If you do not have a dehydrator, you could use a fan oven at its lowest setting. I then left the tomatoes on my balcony for the sun to dry them for a few hours – as I live near the sea in an unpolluted part of the island, these last few hours of au naturel drying gives the tomatoes a lovely, lightly salted taste. They can be stored in a sterile jar, covered in olive oil, in the refrigerator for weeks.

I made the red pesto sauce to mix this pasta in by blitzing together the following ingredients:

1 garlic clove

Pinch of sea salt

25g pine nuts

250g semi-dried tomatoes

1 red chilli, deseeded and roughly chopped

Handful fresh flat-leaf parsley

125ml extra-virgin olive oil

25g Parmesan, finely grated

I added lots of roasted veggies (courgette, aubergine, onion, capsicum) and fresh basil leaves to the pasta and stirred the pesto in. The key thing is to ensure that proportionally, there is less pasta than veggies.

The beauty of this dish is, it can either be served cold as a salad or baked with grated cheese as a hot dinner.

Trail Mix

I bagged up the dried apple and pineapple slices that I put in the dehydrator and mixed those with a couple of handfuls of mixed nuts. This baggie delivers a punch of energy during break, and it is also my excuse to tell her that I love her, big smile.

She does get away with more that she should

On September 11, 2014 By bumblebee3londonIn Everything!!!, WhimsyLeave a comment

I insist on politeness. Rudeness is a red card offence in my house, i.e. immediate banishment to room, grounded for the weekend, no internet, etc.

But my children, especially G, are not the type to accept meekly (and I am glad). We pay for international school education for precisely this reason: so that they are encouraged to think, question, challenge, debate, learn …. of course, in the politest way.But here are the unspoken subtexts behind G’s words spoken with her oh-so-British accent:

(1) “Dad, I don’t get your point” actually means “Do you seriously know what you are talking about, because I doubt it.”

(2) “If I may have my say now please” actually means “Shaddup, you waste of space.”

(3) “Is it really?” actually means “I don’t think so, pondlife.”

(4) “The person who wrote this book is wrong” actually means “There are so many farking stupid people in the world today.”

(5) “Please allow me to show you how it’s done” actually means “Move over, loser”

This is why I cannot teach her. Because her words and tone of voice is a model of politeness in itself – thus I cannot censure her – only that I can hear the subtexts. Which is not good for my blood pressure.

The child with the cut-glass British accent:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8RFONbabE6A

Easy homemade tomato soup

On September 10, 2014 By bumblebee3londonIn Awesome Recipes, Everything!!!Leave a comment

Forget tinned tomato soup – this is so easy to make!

Ingredients:
1 head of roasted garlic, remove skin (do not used burnt flesh)
1 red capsicum (for the colour)
1kg of tomatoes, the redder the better
1/2 an onion, chopped
20g basil leaves
200ml double cream
1 litre veggie stock, made yesterday
Spoonful of butter
Drizzle of olive oil
Freshly ground pepper
Sea salt

Method:
Heat olive oil and butter in the pan.
Saute onion until translucent
Add capsicum, tomatoes, roasted garlic and chopped basil
Pour in the chicken stock, reduce to simmer for about 20 minutes.
Transfer into a blender. Blend until smooth (you may wish to sieve it)
Return to the stove and reduce until the desired consistency.
Slowly stir in the cream.
Served piping hot with freshly ground black pepper and a pinch of sea salt.

(Note: we made veggie stock yesterday: https://raisinghappystrongkids.com/2014/09/09/offerings-from-my-kitchen-today/ – please follow this blog then you will see the continuity of what I do)

Offerings from my kitchen today

On September 9, 2014September 10, 2014 By bumblebee3londonIn Awesome Recipes, Everything!!!4 Comments

My children’s father asks very little of me. He did not mind when I gave up a highly paid job. He doesn’t mind coming home to a messy house. He never complains when I use his credit cards to purchase things that he does not understand. He doesn’t even expect me to do the school run or to help our youngest with her homework or wake up for her 6am football sessions.

All he ever asked of me is to create a happy, nurturing home for our children. Fortunately, it isn’t such a difficult task, thanks to my mum who is Chief Happiness Officer at large: I just have to take my mind back to the sunny kitchen of my parents’ house in Southern England to know just what I have to do. So here are the offerings from my kitchen on this rainy Phuket day:

Start the day right: green smoothies!

My friend Vivienne Webb bought a bag of avocados that she left behind. We went to the sea-gypsies area in Rawai yesterday and bought some as-natural-as-you-can-get veggies and I had some other greens in my fridge from the organic section in Villa Market. Blitzed together with some filtered water, topped with chia seeds, flax seeds and bee pollen, and voila, I have fulfilled my first task of the day, namely providing my family with a nutritious breakfast. 100% goodness, and so easy, too.

Making a veggie stock

I can’t find organic Swiss bouillon anywhere in Phuket. I have to make my own stock. It’s actually easier than you think. I just boiled these veggies in a large ceramic pot with distilled water, and then simmer on low heat for hours. You get a really delicious broth from this.

If you are an instant noodle fan, try making your own version with this stock, cooked spaghetti and lightly boiled bean sprouts. Add cooked chicken if you are not a vegetarian. That’s what I would have for lunch, probably.

Eat rainbow colours

I am trying to get my 14 year old to eat more veggies and less red meat. her father is worried that it will not be enough, given that she does so much sports and is going through a growth spurt. I think it is. Broccoli has as much protein as beef. In fact, 11.1 grams per 100 calories of broccoli = 6.4 grams per 100 calories of beef. I also would add cashews and other nuts for that oomph.

From this colourful platter, I could add Thai paste for a curry, or go Italian by cooking the veggies in red pesto. If I were to go for the Thai option, I would serve it with a wild rice/red rice combo; the Italian option of course goes with spaghetti.

My secret arsenal: sprouts!

Sprouting is actually something fun and easy to do, and best of all, it is exploding with goodness. Sprouts are rich in enzymes (even more than in uncooked fruits and vegetables). These enzymes are vital for many of the body’s functions, including extracting more amino acids, essential fatty acids, minerals and vitamins from food, so the body works more efficiently.

All you have to do is soak the seeds and then sprout on! Make sure that the seeds you use are the ones specially for sprouting, namely not irradiated or contaminated. Put them on a sprouting tray, water daily and agitate the tray to prevent mould from forming. When the little shoots appear, they are ready to be eaten. I add them as topping.

Making our own trail mix

This is a little sweet treat for my minx’s lunchbox tomorow. I dehydrated some apples and pineapples in my dehydrator to make trail mix (I add nuts to the dried fruits combo). I added some gorgeous tomatoes in to make dried tomatoes, which makes a tasty addition to salads and pasta dishes. Well, that’s my lunch tomorrow.

Note about eating rainbow colours, as we have done today in rainy Phuket:

RED
Red fruits and vegetables are coloured by a natural plant pigment called lycopene. Lycopene is a powerful antioxidant that can help reduce the risk of cancer and keep our heart healthy.

PURPLE /BLUE
The plant pigment anthocyanin is what gives blue/purple fruits and vegetables their distinctive colour. Anthocyanin also has antioxidant properties that protect cells from damage and can help reduce the risk of cancer, stroke and heart disease.

ORANGE/YELLOW
Carotenoids give this group their vibrant colour. A well-known carotenoid called Betacarotene is found in sweet potatoes, pumpkins and carrots. It is converted to vitamin A, which helps maintain healthy mucous membranes and healthy eyes. Another carotenoid called lutein is stored in the eye and has been found to prevent cataracts and age-related macular degeneration, which can lead to blindness.

GREEN
Green vegetables contain a range of phytochemicals including carotenoids, indoles and saponins, all of which have anti-cancer properties. Leafy greens such as spinach and broccoli are also excellent sources of folate.

BROWN/WHITE
White fruits and vegetables contain a range of health-promoting phytochemicals such as allicin (found in garlic) which is known for its antiviral and antibacterial properties. Some members of the white group, such as bananas and potatoes, are also a good source of potassium.

Footnote:

It has been nine months since I gave up work, and I can honestly say, I have found gainful employment in the home. I love what I do and enjoy each day to the fullest, this simple and wholesome life without complexities and complications. For this, I have the father of my children and my mother to thank.

PS: Today’s offerings took less than two hours.

Conversations in the car

On September 9, 2014September 10, 2014 By bumblebee3londonIn Everything!!!, WhimsyLeave a comment

I think this is the most important part of a child’s day, because you make them feel loved and also they learn communication skills. So with the other children, we had a policy of never having the radio on in the car on our drives, but to make the conscious efforts to talk to each other. With G, we turn up the volume to give ourselves respite, but she still talks over the radio. This was yesterday afternoon’s conversation:

G: “Momdad, let’s talk economics.”

Us: “OK.”

G: “At school today, I just had to spend a little money at break to buy eight dim sums. Because I get lunch for free. It is all included in the school fees, remember? So I had lots of ribs, I skipped the rice. And finished off with banana fritters with chocolate sauce.”

The father: “In that case, we are net-positive then, since we only paid for a little snack and you chowed down so much.”

She whipped out a piece of paper from her bag. ‘Not so fast, Dad. Here’s the note from my maths teacher: you have to buy me a calculator that costs THB5,900 for my maths class. And the bursar said you only paid THB15,000 out of THB75,000 for my International Awards. So you still have to pay the school THB65,900. That’s 1,275 pounds by the end of the week. There is no such thing as a free lunch, folks.”

My article on growing your child to get 100% through conversations is published in Huffington Post: http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/jacqueline-koay/the-scenic-route-to-getti_b_5770398.html

Rainbow looms? Forget that! Try nature bands instead!

On September 9, 2014September 10, 2014 By bumblebee3londonIn Everything!!!, Love, light, blessingsLeave a comment

From the lovely Susan Orchid Bansin who lives in Borneo:

This pretty and delicate bracelet is made from the tip of an unfurled banana leaf. I used to make this bracelet all the time when i was a child, adorning myself with natural ‘jewelleries’ and flowers tucked in my ponytail. I showed my daughter how to make this natural bracelet recently and she was so delighted. “Watch out for baby bats inside the unfurled banana leaf!”, I exclaimed. “What!! Baby bats?!!”, she exclaimed, too! Haha…. but it is true, bats like to sleep inside unfurled banana leaf.

The Scenic Route to 100%

On September 5, 2014September 10, 2014 By bumblebee3londonIn Everything!!!, Whimsy1 Comment

It’s a well-known fact: Asian parents are hot on education. The type of education that means anything less than 100% is not acceptable. A friend from my hometown (Portsmouth) taught Math at a top international school in Asia. He said parents would often ask him, “How can my child improve on his grades?” Err, the kid had 95%.

Into this hot-housed world we arrived a few years ago with our weird values of raising happy strong children, never mind the grades. Georgina could not read at 5, but she was a glorious, delightful child. Here’s a video of her at 5: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8RFONbabE6A

She took her own sweet time. For the longest period, her father read to her every night. He read her every book in Fairy series (from Bethany the Ballet Fairy to Gemma the Gymnastic Fairy to the 200 fairies in between the ballerina and gymnast). Father and daughter then moved on to Jacqueline Wilson’s books. The father was so into the books which he read to his daughter that once, forgetting himself, he got very excited about meeting Jacqueline Wilson. Poor lady must have had a shock when a middle-aged man came up to her and gushed, “I love your books!”.

G finally decided to read when she was around 11. ‘I could read from when I was small, you know,” she declared. ‘I just pretended I couldn’t, that’s all.”

It made no difference to us. Because she learned a lot of other important things the natural, organic way with the time that was available to her. She grew into a strong girl with a good understanding of the world. She has such enthusiasm for life and forms her own opinions from the thousands of questions that she asks daily. She was (is) excited about learning new things, has an inquiring mind, is eloquent, sharp, witty and quicksilver bright. And when the time was right for her, she began reading. Mein Kampf is one of the books she is reading, because she is interested in the politics and the wars in today’s world. Slowly, steadily, she climbed up the rankings. All on her own steam. She got into the top set for all her subjects, and that is at an academic school where tuition is norm. English and Music are her weakest subjects.

“Don’t blame me,” she said with her usual insouciance. “My dad speaks bad English.”

I sighed. “But Music, G! Your dad is a guitarist in a rock band, and you got 0% for your Music exam!”

“I only do Rock,” she said belligerently. “And that’s not on the curriculum.”

But she excels in Math. “Momdad, I have beaten all the Asian kids. Even those who do 10 hours of tuition a week.”

Do I sit down and teach her Math for hours on end? No. But I wrote about the ten most beautiful equations in the world. I am always pointing out to her the Fibonacci sequence in the natural world. I told her about Pythagoras and the cult he founded. We talked about Fermat’s Last Theorem (which took centuries to be solved). I asked her if it is ever possible to find Theory of Everything, the one equation that describes “everyfink”.

None of it is related to ’exam’ Math.

Last Monday, she started at a new school. She had to do a Math test for streaming purposes. She was totally unprepared for the test.

She came back in a foul mood. “Half of it was on Probability! And I didn’t do them at the old school. Well, other people probably did, but I was out playing football. I must have missed it.”

The result came back 2 days later. She had 100%.

Her father was annoyed at her for getting 100%. After the fuss she kicked up. “I thought you said you hadn’t covered Probability?” he said. “You lied.”

“I didn’t!” she protested indignantly. “I have not covered them before! I just worked them out. Probability is like the gambling stuff, right? You just work out how likely somefink is going to happen or not, that’s all. So what’s the big deal?”

As my friend Azlan Adnan said, “This is what education is all about – empowering people to work things out from first principles using logic, which is the highbrow word for “common sense,” which, unfortunately, is not very common nowadays.”

And so, here’s our scenic route to 100%. Not through rote-learning, tuition or hot-housing, but through conversations with our child – she was about 6, when we asked her to tell us 10 reasons why it is not a good idea to build houses on a cemetery that is not related to ghosts. It was a good conversation.